هــل أنـت مــرِح؟ اليك هذا الاختبار

هل تتقبل المقالب والمواقف السخيفة بصدر رحب، أم أنك من الحزب العصبى ثقيل الظل؟ أجب عن هذة الأسئلة ثم اقرأ النتيجة لتعرف

1-أرسل لك صديق فيروساً قام بتدمير الهارد ديسك الخاص بك
أ- تصاب بنزيف في المخ
ب- تضحك من قلبك حتى تنقلب على ظهرك
ج- تضحك وتصب بعض الجاز على الشاشة وتولع فيها من أجل المزيد من المرح 

2-تقول لك خطيبتك: كل شيء قسمة ونصيب – خلينا اخوات أحسن
أ- تصاب بشلل نصفي
ب- تأخذ الأمر بروح رياضية وتبحث لها عن عريس مناسب
ج- تقوم باختراق كمبيوتر السجل المدني وتعدل سجلات المواليد لتصبحا اخوات بالفعل 

3-تصدمك سيارة مسرعة فتطيح بك من فوق كوبري لتسقط مباشرة في بالوعة
أ- تموت
ب- بعد أن مللت السباحة في مواقع الانترنت تجد أنها فرصة مناسبة للسباحة في المجاري
ج- تستغل الموقف لكتابة كتاب بعنوان (مذكراتي في المجاري) ثم تقوم بإخراج جزء آخر من فيلم
Mimic

4-أرسل لك صديقك بطاقة معايدة الكترونية استغرقت وقتا طويلاً جداً للتحميل
أ- توقف تحميلها فوراً
ب- ترسل له بطاقة معايدة بحجم 10 ميجا بايت
ج- تصمم له بطاقة معايدة بحجم 20 جيجا بايت وتضعها على هارد ديسك وتذهب لتسلمه له بنفسك

5-في رحلة إلى مدينة الملاهي وعلى سبيل المزاج قرر أصدقائك إلقائك من لعبة القطار المجنون
أ- تصاب بكسر في قاع الجمجمة
ب- تضحك وترد لهم المقلب بقطع الكهرباء عن القطار وتتركهم معلقين في الهواء
ج- تضحك وترد لهم المقلب بسكب برميل من الجاز وإشعال النار في الملاهي

6-تعود إلى المنزل لتجد أن أختك قد قامت بطلاء الكمبيوتر الخاص بك – بما في ذلك الشاشة – باللون الوردي حتى يتناسب مع لون الطاولة الجديدة
أ- لأنك لم تر علبة الطلاء في المنزل فإنك تفتح الكمبيوتر وتتسائل لماذا لا ترى شيئاً على الشاشة
ب- تثني على الذوق الفني الفريد لأختك وتقوم بكحت جزء صغير من الطلاء الذي يغطي الشاشة حتى تستطيع العمل من خلاله
ج- بينما هي نائمة تقوم بطلاء وجه اختك باللون البني حتى يتناسب ولون سريرها

النتيجــة

إذا كانت معظم إجاباتك أ:
أنت لا تتمتع بروح الدعابة على الإطلاق، بل بالعكس أنت إنسان مضاد للدعابة Anti Do3aba ولا تتحمل أجهزة جسمك الحيوية مجرد المزاح فإذا أراد أحد يوماً ما التخلص منك فلا حاجة به لشراء مسدسات وأدوات غالية الثمن إذ يكتفي أن يقوم بإغاظتك لينفذ هدفه بطريقة قانونية تماماً .

اذا كانت معجم اجاباتك ب :

لديك استجابة معقولة للمرح وتفهم الطرفة وترد عليها بشكل مناسب وإن كان عنيفاً بعض الشيء، ورغم حبك للكمبيوتر فإنك لازلت تستجيب للمؤثرات الخارجية. 

اذا كانت معجم اجاباتك ج:

المرح مطلوب لكن ليس إلى هذه الدرجة، لكن مرحك من النوع المدمر القاتل، ويحق لنا أن نتعجب من أنك لم تدخل السجن حتى الآن.

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اللغة العربية ظلمت المرأة في خمسة مواضيع

أولا: إذا كان الرجل لا يزال على قيد الحياة فيقال عنه انه حي، أما إذا كانت المرأة لا تزال على قيد الحياة فيقال عنها إنها !! حية أعاذنا الله من لدغتها (الحية وليس المرأة).

ثانيا: إذا أصاب الرجل في قوله أو فعله فيقال عنه إنه مصيب أما إذا أصابت المرأة في قولها أو فعلها فيقال عنها إنها مصيبة!
 
ثالثا: إذا تولى الرجل منصب القضاء فيقال عنه إنه قاضي أما إذا تولت المرأة منصب القضاء فيقال عنها إنها قاضية!!  والقاضية هي المصيبة العظيمة التي تنزل بالمرء فتقضي عليه.

رابعا: إذا أصبح الرجل عضوا في احد المجالس النيابية فيقال عنه إنه نائب أما إذا أصبحت المرأة عضوا في أحدا المجالس النيابية فيقال عنها إنها نائبة !! وكما تعلمون فان النائبة هي أخت المصيبة. 

خامسا: إذا كان للرجل هواية يتسلى بها ولا يحترفها فيقال عنه إنه هاوي أما إذا كانت للمرأة هواية تتسلى بها ولا تحترفها فيقال عنها أنها هاوية !! والهاوية هي احدي أسماء جهنم.

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Globalization

Question: Can you cite a true example of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana’s death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess

with an Egyptian boyfriend

crashes in a French tunnel

driving a German car

with a Dutch engine

driven by a Belgian who was drunk

on Scotch whiskey

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi

on Japanese motorcycles

treated by an American doctor

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by Indian

using Bill Gates ‘s technology

and you’re probably reading this on your computer

that uses Taiwanese chips

and a Korean monitor

assembled by Bangladeshi workers

in a Singapore plant

transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers

hijacked by Indonesians

unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals…..

That, my friend, is Globalization.

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Is Google spinning out of control?

Google is a company convinced of its own brilliance and its clear vision of the future. Being a hotbed of Mensa members will do that to you. As will stumbling early onto an obscenely lucrative business model. The same thing happened to a company called Microsoft.But that doesn’t mean that the fundamental rules of the universe don’t apply – immutable things like Newton’s gravity or Murphy’s Law. I bring this up because Google has just announced two extraordinarily ambitious strategic gambits in the span of a week, and I’m not convinced that it can pull either of them off.

First the company announced OpenSocial, a hasty attempt to smother social-network phenom Facebook by pulling together an alliance of more than 50 of that upstart’s peers and competitors. The idea is twofold: to make it easier for software developers to build universally compatible applications and to open up social websites to newfangled forms of targeted “social advertising,” something Facebook actually started offering the next week.

Then Google (Charts) took the wraps off something even bigger: a grand plan to redefine the cellphone. Through the so-called Open Handset Alliance, Google will provide software and programming protocols for others to employ in building a new class of smartphone handsets and cellular information services. Once again, the unspoken goal is to create handheld billboards for blasting even more ads at us.

Those initiatives are both what Silicon Valley calls “platforms” – standards for independent developers to write programs that extend the utility of a device or service. Ever since Microsoft (Charts, Fortune 500) and Intel defined the architecture of the PC, establishing a platform has been the holy grail of ambitious high-tech companies.

But in reality there aren’t that many genuine computing platforms around, because it is extremely difficult to design and support them in a way that pleases all constituencies. Apple (Charts, Fortune 500) has managed to establish its Macintosh platform by keeping the options for independent developers rather narrow – application software and computer peripherals only – and is being extremely careful as it turns the iPhone into a genuine platform. Microsoft, which has huge built-in advantages because it has by far the most experience with platforms, has been working for more than a decade with only mixed success on its Windows Mobile platform for handheld computers and smartphones. This kind of software is hard.

As capable as Google is, the company has never really masterminded a platform before. And there’s a whiff of Tom Sawyer to these strategies; Google is trying to get its partners and the open-source software community to do a lot of the heavy lifting.

It all sounds great, especially if you don’t think about how much harder it will be to avoid the relentless barrage of advertising sure to come. But as even Microsoft could tell you, neither platform gambit is a sure bet. Google doesn’t seem to take into account the most fundamental rule of high tech: Don’t mistake a clear view for a short distance. To top of page

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Facebook issues an apology

Facebook, the popular social networking site, has ridden the hype curve up and down in recent months, reaching a low Tuesday over claims that a month-old advertising system violates members’ privacy. CEO Mark Zuckerberg took a big step Wednesday toward silencing naysayers – one of whom was my own colleague Josh Quittner – when he issued a contrite apology and made a key change to the new advertising feature, dubbed Beacon.

“We’ve made a lot of mistakes building this feature,” acknowledged Zuckerberg, “but we’ve made even more with how we’ve handled them. We simply did a bad job with this release, and I apologize for it.”

A little history: When Facebook, the popular social networking site, announced its strategy to host applications created by outsiders in May, the world and the press was dazzled – none more than me. Facebook found itself on the covers of magazines and the lips of Silicon Valley.

Then, in October, Microsoft (Charts, Fortune 500) bested Google (Charts, Fortune 500), winning the right to invest $240 million for 1.6 percent of Facebook and a new contract to display ads on the site. The deal valued Facebook at $15 billion. Meanwhile, the number of active members, 24 million in May, has soared to 57 million. Suddenly, Facebook was king of the hill.

Aiming to capitalize on its newfound acclaim and scale, Facebook announced its bold new advertising strategy in November. But Zuckerberg made a few strategic errors. First, he showed a touch of hubris when he intoned portentously to ad executives in New York during the announcement: “Once every 100 years, the way that media works fundamentally changes.”

Much worse, one part of the new Beacon ad system had not been fully thought through. It automatically alerts a member’s friends when she buys a new product or rents a movie. But the features intended to allow the member to control this alert system were hard to find and insufficient.

Journalists dug up unfortunate cases, like the wife who was automatically informed by Facebook of the ring her husband bought her as a Christmas present. Consumer and privacy watchdog groups began darkly criticizing Facebook’s “disregard” for members’ privacy. Meanwhile, a group called “Petition: Facebook, stop invading my privacy!” has 68,000 members, which isn’t much for a service with 57 million users but enough to send a clear signal that people are upset.

The blogosphere – and in its wake, much of the mainstream press – went wild with derision. Here was Baker’s maxim come to life. We built them up and now we were going to bring them down.

What do you think of Facebook’s future?

Though Facebook has progressively taken measures to address the problems, the 23 year-old Zuckerberg until now had said nothing about the latest brouhaha. He broke his silence Wednesday with an apology to members and a fresh promise not to broadcast a member’s buying habits without her explicit approval. In a key move, he also allowed members to turn off Beacon.

Still, questions linger, including how much member information is pinging around the Net without permission or knowledge. If Zuckerberg stays attuned to these and any other ongoing concerns, the controversy will go away and Facebook will be as strong as ever. After all, that’s what happened when he wrote a letter of apology last year after a much bigger on-service protest erupted over a new Facebook feature that tells friends what other friends are doing on the site.

At first, the outcry over the Newsfeed feature was fierce. But then Facebook tweaked the feature, Zuckerberg apologized, and protesters realized they were making much ado about nothing. Newsfeed became one of Facebook’s most popular features. It’s also become part of the essential infrastructure for the viral dissemination of third-party Facebook applications created since May.

Until now, Zuckerberg’s silence has fueled press anger over Beacon and Zuckerberg’s apparent rigidity, including from my Fortune colleague, Josh Quittner, who argues Facebook may be dead.

Facebook is not anywhere near dead – and there’s zero chance it will be anytime soon, no matter how boneheaded some of its recent actions may have been. It would be virtually impossible for a new, as-yet-unheard-of service to come along and quickly steal Facebook users.

For all Facebook’s own successes, former social networking superstar MySpace, now owned by News Corp. (Charts, Fortune 500), remains larger than ever by most measures. It takes a lot of work for a member to create a useful Facebook (or MySpace) network. They won’t flee lightly.

And while Zuckerberg may not have listened to them until now, Facebook has several “old hands” in the management suite to help guide the young company. Chief operating officer Owen Van Natta and privacy boss Chris Kelly are both in their late 30s. Chief financial officer Gideon Yu is 36 years-old and Vice President for Sales Mike Murphy is 45. All are industry veterans.

Facebook remains a seminal part of today’s technology landscape. It’s changing the way many people around the world use the Internet. For me personally, it’s the first Web service to come along in a decade since MyYahoo where I routinely spend at least half an hour daily.

Josh ends his post by saying, “Facebook has turned all the people who rooted for it into a lynch mob. In the space of a month, it’s gone from media darling to devil.” He’s right about that. But it may say more about the press – and today’s blog-led penchant for sensationalism – than it does about Facebook.

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http://www.php-editors.com/

While i was searchin the net,i found this interesting website for php developers and programmers,you search easily by choosin ur favourite Platform and License ,u can choose from a huge database,and more stuff about php if you are interested.

here is the site

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http://www.killerphp.com/

This is a beginners website/course on PHP created for web designers who have little to no programming experience.

Where most other PHP tutorials and books assume you know programming (or at least, that’s what it seems like …) killerphp.com assumes you need to have things explained (and demonstrated) in non-nerd terms.

Check it out

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Will Ruby kill PHP?

With the recent rise in popularity of the Ruby programming language (largely driven by the excellent but not perfect web framework called Rails), I’ve noticed a little fear in the air … fear on the part of some people in the PHP community.

Will Ruby kill PHP?

The short answer is: no.

MY REASONING

Though Ruby and PHP are both scripting languages that make developing web applications much easier than it is, say in the Java world, they are very different beasts … each appeals to a different audience.

RUBY IS ELEGENT BUT COMPLEX

Before I go on, I want to point out that Ruby is a great language and I think it makes perfect sense for PHP developers to learn a little Ruby: it is always a good idea to learn other languages because it will make you a better programmer.

That said, I believe Ruby will not appeal to, or fill the need of most PHP’ers – Ruby can be a little too abstract.

JAVA NERDS LOVE RUBY

Ruby is attracting many from the Java world because it expresses very advanced concepts in a simple syntax – contrast this to Java’s (often times) kludgy and verbose representation.

Ruby appeals to the Java crowd because Java people have been trained to think in terms of large scale enterprise applications – regardless of the size of the project.

… These ‘abstractions’ (generally speaking) lend themselves well to larger projects.

WHY PHP WORKS

PHP is often criticized because it has both a procedural and an object oriented way of doing things. Some people think that this divergence (within the language), takes away from it … I think this is part of its strength!

Objected oriented constructs are great for creating cleaner designs that are easier to maintain and promote the possibility of code reusability. Code reuseability is an often touted advantage of OOP, but from what I’ve seen in the Java world, it is not achieved so often.

With OOP, there is a cost of added complexity and overhead – you simply have to write more code to do things when you do it via OOP.

PHP PROVES THAT NON OO LANGUAGES STILL HAVE THEIR PLACE

I would suggest that the vast majority of PHP work is found in simple projects:

  • Email from a web page.
  • Process a simple form and save to a database.
  • Create a simple store with 10 items.

My point is, that for many PHP projects, OOP may be a little overkill.

WHY RUBY WILL NOT KILL PHP

In Ruby everything is an object (even numbers!) and the core language has very sophisticated constructs that need to be understood to use Ruby effectively – Ruby strength is also its’ weakness.

… I don’t see the majority of PHP users wanting to jump that deep into the world of programmatic abstraction – for most, there is simply no point.

Stefan Mischook

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Impossible Love

Love ,HUH!! ,U know Wt`s the mean of it? it`s a legend for our life, it`s like a ghost every one talk about it, but nobody C it, it`s a fact.
love startes in a hot emotion, fresh passion, it`s amazing at start, can take U in ths world to other, make U soo happy, but in the end always U can smell fresh betrayal, so it make U sad, and have nightmares in ur dreams.
we can find a negative relationship between love and everything bad in ths life, am sure u have listened about, Laila`s crazy, Buthina fool, mad Romio, so u must forget that, no u cant, u know y? coz it`s our fate, we cant control that, GOD want love, just one type of it, true love, u can’t find it in ths life even parents love for their children.
Somebody think that the end of love is marriage, no it`s not, love ends with pain, tear,perdition, and headeach, always say ((it`s never to be ments)), no its not, we make that for ourself.
I tried love , and I knew so much about it, take my words, wn u feel love, remember that, his or her is not an angel, u must forget a lot of things for him or her, and wn u C a betrayal, and u will C it, don`t be sad and don`t cry just rememmber this, ((every thing is okay in the end, if it’s not okay then it’s not the end)).
I remember some words my friend say (( I can’t trust anyone even myself, coz his or her statue the way)) betrayal way.
Love always starts with a smile, grow with passion, ends with tears.
U can find a soulmate but ur love it`s impossible, coz soulmate like a Daimond u can`t make that, but u can find it, love like a dream wn u wake, every thing gone, okay.
I know wt u saying about me, u say wt silly I am ? and everything is wrong, okay try it then u can c everything I written.
I’am not crazy, am looking for love, but I’am sure that I cant find it , coz NO women perfect to love her.
that’s not a story I ganna make some attention about love and truoble of it.
at the end I wanna to say something, wn u c a betrayal, and stop controlling anything, remember ths sentence, ((don`t cry for anyone, who don`t cry for u))

sniper

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PHP 5.2.5 Released!

After a somewhat extended release cycle PHP 5.2.5 is finally out! A fairly extensive list of changes this time with over 120 bug fixes and a fair number of small security fixes and improvements. You can find the abbreviated details about the release here and the full boring details in the ChangeLog.

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